What do you do when your are faced with the inevitable? You can either stress yourself into sickness or just do what you can until you've reached the very end of the line. Of course this is much easier to do when you have a back up plan. But I'm ready for whatever- bring it! But don't think for one minute, that I'm not going to try and enjoy myself while I can. If this ship is sinking, I'm sure as hell not going to go down in distress.
What are these things we attach ourselves too? Material things that become so important to us, that we feel we can't live without. For me, I've been letting go slowly but yes, I'm letting go of these things. And with it, I've let go of the worry, the stress of trying to hold on. Things do make me happy- but it's only temporary. It's fleeting. What makes me happy are the moments spent together, unfortunately this is conflicting. I love spending time with my hubby and kids, and I love making them happy. However like most kids, things make my children happy. And with each monetary purchase the stress is more and more apparent in my husbands face. I'm sorry he has to carry this burden, and I know I am in part the blame. I get angry with the way things work today. I've spent all my life playing by the rules, doing what is expected of me. And where has it gotten me? In the end, we're still pretty screwed. Our dreams~gone, Our futures now a gray shade of uncertainty. Shit happens for a reason. But there comes a time when you have to accept- THE SHIT IS HAPPENING so make the best of it.
My heart aches for you - I was talking to Chris on Sunday about stuff. I somewhat know what you're going through and it does suck. Not to sound like the Guru, but what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. I know it's hard to believe now that things will get better, but hopefully in years to come, you can look back and see that having a great family & great friends is what helped you through your hard times.
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