That's why I try to make my kids see the importance in doing their absolute best in school so they can get into any college of choice hopefully on a full scholarship even better. This way they have some control over their future moneywise, more oppertunities. Don't rely on a trade! Own a company instead!
But back to the story of my youth. Haha... Life was so carefree back in the 90's. I was a shy girl, but had a healthy amount of confidence about myself. I knew I was young, and I was having fun as safely as I could. Well I tried not to do anything my parents would get upset about. I always kept a healthy open communication with my parents. I mean there were some things a teen just doesn't talk about but I always managed my safety well. #1 priority = safety.
I remember my social life really didn't begin until my freshman year. That's when I started venturing away from home to meet boys, sneak a beer, and low n behold, ride in cars with boys. All of which are grounds for punishment today under our parenting rules. lol I can still recall the Autumn cold, the smell in the air, the excitement the night held in store. And even still the comfort and security I felt in my boyfriends arms. Back then, the attention from a boy felt most amazing. Young and stupid... eventually that silly girl would grow to know she was NO ONES PROPERTY but her own. Not defined by a partner, but by her own character. But that's not where I'm going with this. I'm just remembering the simpler times, when the most important thing in the world was, getting a love note, a phone call, or a love song dedicated to you on the radio! Ahhh the good old days, when romance was booming!
I look back on the photographs I collaged of my friends. Most were just those in the crowd. I probably only kept 2 or 3 close friends throughout highschool. But even those friends would change up from time to time. Calling someone a friend, didn't come lightly. I guess it's been either a blessing or curse knowing what real true friends are supposed to act and treat you like. I've had the pleasure of growing up with my cousins, my family was always tight. And I've managed to keep my best friend from age 12, even up to date. So I guess that's why Im a little bit picky with who I keep around me. It's all been worth it this far.
One memory that strikes me at the moment; Freshman Father/ Daughter Dance 1990. Me and my dad pulled up to the school's gymnasium with a 6 pack of beer. Hahaha we drank a few to take the edge off before going in! We still didn't dance all that much but it's an awesome memory I'll always keep of my Dad :)
Another memory that stands out; My dear friend Carl was an ambulance driver at the time and so he would escort me to school some mornings- as like it was some kind of emergancy, lights and sirens going :) Another friend Ray would get me anywhere I needed to be "on time" in a matter of minutes. This dude knew all the back roads, and holes in the wall. Need less to say I deleveloped a need for speed! Driving fast was always exciting for me :) There are some days even now, when I just feel like ripping open the engine and seeing just how fast I can go. I don't... but I would if I could safely :)
Another favorite memory from my teen years: Boys used to leave gifts for me all the time in my front door or on the front porch :) Nice gifts too! Once I randomly got Poison Perfume- which I still like today. Tons of teddy bears and rose bouqets, chocolates, cards, love notes.... You name it. My younger sister always hated on me for it. Never was I so romanced than back in my teen years. I guess that's why I'm such a romantic today. Well not so much as when I was in my 20's. Things started cooling off in my late 20's. I was married and Chris and I had been together since I was 19 so all my romantic gestures came now from him only :) Haha and for the record "I'm not down playing him at all." Chris was always romantic and thoughtful. I think I was getting random bouquets of flowers and roses pretty much all of our marriage until about the past few years. The love notes have ceased, except in the form of facebook posts lol, the flowers I now buy myself.... But hey, it was a nice run. Can't remember the last time I was surprised or celebrated Valentine's day. hint hint... Nah Im just joking.
I know my guy is the one, and our family is solid. Everything we built together, our dreams, hopes, spirituality, it's all I'll ever need in life. Nothing can penetrate what we have together. We've come so far from our life's trials. We've grown to forgive, love unconditionally, and have compassion for each other. We invested so much in each other, now I am not sure what life would be like without the other. It might even be paralizing! Which can be scary to think about. I mean to place your total trust in another person with your heart, life, your everything- that take some major major consideration. And let me tell ya, in doing so didn't come easily. I had to hurt those I love most, and those I didn't care about, I hurt myself along the way too. But my trials were all neccessary, to get where I am today. Out from the ashes, I rose up like the phoenix! (hence my paniting). My downfall all started by feeling unloved and from there it spiraled into a selfish unfeeling drinking spree (for those of you wondering). I had nowhere left to go but UP! And I'll forever remember the night, the exact conversation that changed everything for me. The unexpected but amazing compassion shown by my husband that would forever set us straight onto the spiritual path, but this time together (as it should be).
I sit here now, feeling completely contented. I couldn't ask for more from life. Everything else is gravy ;)
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