One step forward, two steps back. That seems to be a life theme here. Repeating God awful lessons until they are perfected or at least sink in some what. So I sit here thinking to myself, "how many times will I get it wrong until I learn already?" The answer..... No more. I don't like hurting others with stupid unthought out unkind words. The problem lately it seems, is that I've been running my mouth without fully thinking it through first. And that's wrong. How do I go from a quiet person that never voices an opinion to a diarhetic verbal assault vehical? Have I become so jaded by the people and circumstances around me that I forgot how to respect the feelings of those I may be hurting? Wow.... so yeah these are the questions that have been weighing on my mind this week.
It's the second time, this stupid lesson is rearing it's ugliness. Something must be learned from it & it needs to stop here. This blog will help remind me of that. As I look back over this past year searching for clues as to what changed in my life, asking when exactly did I start to slip backward away from the positive path I was on..... I don't think it was anything in particular but perhaps a mesh of things and people getting my goat over time that has led me back to a harsh and sarcastic front. Sure it feels GREAT to shield & protect my feelings behind sarcasm but over time, I've lost my way- strayed from the path. It just goes to show that personal development is a task done "everyday" and is never ending. I wont beat myself up over it, because humanity is not perfect. I make mistakes, and sometimes I make them more than once. But I refuse to make this mistake again. For now on, I will take extra care to think before I speak or post things that discriminate against others. I will try and get back to the kind loving person that I was becoming. It's time to make that effort, and hopefully make it stick.
Life's lessons certainly keep things interesting that's for sure.
Here's to a nicer tomorrow.
xox
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