Seasons Change: Catch Up.

September has come and we say goodbye to another summer. How quickly time flies when you're having fun. Actually, I really hadn't planned much to do this summer since Chris's unemployment checks ran out we've really been feeling the pinch greater than ever. But with the love and kindness of family & friends we've been able to enjoy trips to the aquarium & zoo, and days spent at the pool soaking up the sun. That's right! even my pasty ass got a tan this year so it hasn't been bad.

We celebrated Dana's sweet 16 down the shore with my parents this year :) Dana was able to bring her bff Ivanna along to pal around with. She said it was the best birthday EVER :) We were so lucky with the weather and timing of the trip too. We had perfect weather from the day we got there to the very hour we left to come home. Sadly Hurricane Irene slammed all the shore points hard, and caused some major damage inland as well. We know many who were badly affected and our hearts go out to them. Again, we were very lucky and managed to keep our power, and sustained no damage. The weather has been insane, we even had a noteworthy earthquake of 5.9! and the aftershock of 5.5 the night after. And during Irene tornado warnings were flying left and right. This has been one crazy week! The last earthquake Philadelphia experienced was over 200 years ago. Fascinating. My family and I were on the beach when it hit and we barely noticed. But people and neighbors back home said they were woken up by the house shaking. Again, no damage to our home thankfully. We just had some things knocked over or curtains that had fallen down. Our 3 cats seemed freaked out, and continued to be skittish for a week or two after. But they are all better now :) "Friendly is playing tag with Dana."

As my favorite time of year comes, with it the kids are back to school and I am getting a sense of peace and tranquility back in my life. Oh I forgot to mention, my hubby has finally scored a full time position over at the new charter school. We are all very excited! It's been two years since his lay off from NorthEastern Hospital. We were worried that this oppertunity wasn't ever going to come. He likes it. The pay isn't wonderful but it's a step up in the right direction. We are grateful. So it's true, prayers are heard and sometimes answered :) God always seems to give us what we need to get by.

Chris's Mom also contacted us over the summer in late July. We hadn't had any contact in almost 7years after she moved away and there were some unsettled feelings. It's a good thing Chris found his spirituality and learned compassion and forgiveness because he has invited her back into our lives, and the kids are getting to know her. It's nice having Betty back. It's good and were making the most of our time together this time around, because ya never know when it might be taken away again.

So as you can see, we lot's of exciting news, and healing going on, and excitement for the future. :) I wanna just take a minute and send a shot out to God/Universe for having our backs. I'm happy that we were able to learn from the curve balls, the harder times, the trial and plain old CRAP thrown at us. We're definately stronger, and have clearer minds because of it.

I'm now the proud mother of a junior in highschool and a 2nd grader :) This year Jake only cried for the 1st week. By the 2nd week he's been acting like a big boy. He must like his new teacher because he has done something this week that shocked the hell out of me. He's NOT giving me trouble at homework time!!! He's reading alone!!! and doing math worksheets on his own!!! He even counted money correctly!!! You might be reading this and thinking yeah so what, but what you dont understand is how hard it was for us to get him to focus last year. Homework was always frustrating for Jake and myself because he just simply didn't want any part of it. But the tables have turned and he's making his mommy & daddy & big sissy proud! The best part, is that he's much calmer and happier. Being away at school makes him more lovable and helping when he comes home :) can you say WINNING!!!!????

So now here I am enjoying my alone time again. The husband is out of the home working, the kids are at school, and here I am alone quietly with only my thoughts. I'm loving it! I've craved this for so long! Seriously I'm so friggen happy I could shit. I wake in the mornings now with a sense of importance, getting Jake off to school, a power walk, maybe some yoga if Im feeling it, and whatever chores that need done, I can now do them willingly with peace of mind and at my own pace. I'm a happy 35 years young cat lady again. I find myself looking for things to do, so I started organizing and planning out the dinner menu for the upcoming two weeks. I'm working on clearing out the clutter again. Somehow things always tend to get messy and disorganized "thank you family." I have time for reading again even though it's a sure way to put me to sleep. Everytime! So naps are back :) Plenty of facebooking and soon again blogging. I haven't blogged much because my thoughts have been preoccupied. It's much easier to concentrate without a demanding child, or husband blaring the volume on the tv. The change is good! My mother even said I was glowing :)

To top everything off, I'm excited about my 12.lb weight loss with weight watchers. I see and feel a real difference. And I'm never going to stop! I'm setting my goal for the end of December so I can start the new year off with my new body :) and attitude! Wish me luck! Pin Up pictures are in my future ;))

Look Out World She's on her way BACK! For real this time.

Weight Watchers

Every 6 months this body of mine seems to gain another 5.lbs. I've been battling with my weight now for about 5 years and I'm so sick of it. Three weeks ago I started taking serious steps to fix this. First by going for a check up and blood work to make sure things are normal, then I joined weight watchers and the gym. I really do feel better-the burden of sadness has lifted and I feel like Im finally doing all I can be doing to help myself now. My drive to suceed is great! I haven't felt this determined in over a year.

With the help of WW, I am learning to portion my food, and what good foods I should be eating. They make it so easy with the points plus system. I find myself still able to enjoy the foods I like without feeling guilty. And each week I lose more weight. My"peace"of mind comes from going to the gym 5 days a week for an hour at a time. I simply get my heart pumping on the treadmill. At this time I feel good walking at a steady pace for 3 miles a day. Which is doing my tummy and waist line wonders. I can feel and see a difference, and I plan to maintain it. Yay me! If things go well, I'm thinking by December I should be in my weight goal range.

Thursday night weigh in.
1st week- 1.8 lbs lost (no exercise just portioning better)
2nd week-  .6 lbs lost (50 minutes of exercise added)
3rd week- 4.0 lbs lost (10 extra minutes of exercise added = 1hr walk time) YEAH!!
4th week- 0.0 lbs (began a new med for clear skin)
5th week- 2.6 lbs lost
6th week- 1.4 lbs + (gained from vacation-not bad)
7th week- 3.6 lbs lost (added yoga)
8th week- 1 lbs lost (TOTAL so far 12.2 lbs lost)
9th week- 3 lbs lost
10th week- 1.6 lbs lost
11th week- 1.4 lbs lost
12th week- .06 lbs lost
13th week- 0
14th week- 1.6 lbs lost
15th week- .04 lbs lost
16th week- 1.4 lbs lost (TOTAL so far 20.6 lbs lost) Silver Bravo Star :) Yay!

Embracing Uncertainty

Embracing Uncertainty. Breakthrough Methods For Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing The Unknown-By Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

Surving over two years of uncertainty where the future and security of my loved ones are involved due to the failing economy has toyed with all of our emotions time & time again. Yesterday I felt it was time to visit the library and see what literature popped out for me to read. This book grabbed my attention. I'd seen it there before, I think it's been recommended through previous authors I've read. But this time, I think I needed to read it.

According to the first three chapters, life is much easier to tolerate when we live by a "MAYBE" kind of attitude. Taking nothing for granted, and letting go of the control for perfect outcomes. Maybe it will be a good day, maybe it wont. We often need to be right about everything too, when we should be listening to eachothers point of views instead. Agreeing to disagree is better than having to know it all all the time. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're right, maybe your wrong. We don't know the grand design of the universe and it's intentions. Science is based on a significant amount of guessing. So maybe there's a reason why this country is in crisis, maybe there's not. I'd like to think this country is coming to a new age, a realization that in order to survive we need to drastically change the way things are done in government. I like to think everything will work out in the end, but maybe it wont. Then what? I guess I'm learning that I have no control over the future. It will be whatever it will be. And only time will tell. We can only do the best we can in the mean time.

The "pinch" is greater now than it's ever been, and I hate seeing those I love carry such a big burden. We need a miracle....God, please....we need you.

Having no control over anything has been frustrating. But giving up control over everything can be liberating according to this book. So I'll let ya know how it turns out.

Promoting Self-Love.

For my birthday this year I was given a rose quartz candle holder similar to this one. And let me just say this.... "I LOVE IT." But that's what rose quartz do right? They are magical gemstones that promote self love, and open the universal pathways for love.

So yesterday I sat with my new quartz and quietly ignited it's powerful energies. You may not be a believer in this sort of thing but I'm telling you it works, and it's exactly what I've been needing. I feel wonderful. I feel a new found love for myself, that I've lost some time ago. I now feel back in touch with who I truly am, and I'm reminded of the things I once loved & enjoyed. xoxox

Two weeks ago, I placed 3 small rose quartz crystals next to my bed hoping to provide a lil something needed that has been missing. I've noticed a slight change, but then this large rose quartz found it's home here a week later, and I'm noticing instant results. :) Does anyone know of a tea light candle that burns for 5 hours at a time? Cause I lit this candle placed it bedside and it burned all night long, only to extinguish itself the moment I left the room this morning.

JUNE an entire Month dedicated to Gemini :)

Happy June 1st everybody. I'm starting a special birthday blog and all the wonderful ways to celebrate for the month. Yay Me. My celebrating actually started yesterday May 31st.

May 31st- treated myself to a full body massage. Affordable, very good and in home! Didn't even have to leave my house. Had the house to myself, put on on soothing music and lit the candles and incense- Bang! I was good to go :) 1 hour of relaxation. pdailey77@yahoo.com for info.

June 1st- spent the evening at mom & dads enjoying a home cooked chicken parm & spaghetti dinner followed by stocks pound cake and our fave tv shows :) My ghost hunting kit arrived today too! And, my garden was in full bloom. Yay!
June 3rd- Downloaded all my music to the computer for instant access.
June 4th- Chris hosted a little birthday celebration Toga style for my 35th. Mom & Dad brought me the annual Stocks Bakery cake accompanied by Butter cake :)
June 5th- Treated ourselves to breakfast at the Liberty Diner.
June 6th- Lounged all day. Clipped myself some fresh flowers from my garden. Was recommended an old TV series called Legend of the Seeker- and love it!

Theraputic Rant

Ok I'm convinced that it must just be everyone else. Perhaps, I'm equally as cursed as other misunderstood emotional artists who uniquely express their feelings in a way that others just do not understand. I don't want to come off as prudent, I'm just different apparently. Since I'm not numbed up on anti-depressants anymore I'm forced to deal with the unplesantries of the people closest to me. Though I love them dearly, I'm equally as annoyed and upset with them for not "getting me or understanding me." When I'm upset, and you ask me what's bothering me, be prepared for the answer that follows.OR simply don't ask. Instead of being sympathetic as to why I feel the way I do, they tend to get angry and stand offish which only boils the water more. Now I'm left with the uneasy feeling and ideas that everyone else is just a bunch of fucking Assholes. Yes, with a capital "A."

As I'm writing this, it has occurred to me that "this must be my do over." The last time I felt this way was "pre-anti-deppressant" and on the verge of self destruction. Now again, I'm at a crossroad, repeat my past mistakes or choose to somehow accept and grow from my current circumstance. Where will it lead me this time? It's easier not to feel. But burrying my feelings way down beneath 4 years of chemical altering meds has left me over weight and unhappy but had given me a huge spiritual growth. Trust me, I really want a drink right now, with a handful of capsules. But the little voice inside my head is nudging me on the shoulder saying, come on, you can take the high road now. Be strong. Early in my marriage I was pretty sure of what I wanted and how to get it. But somewhere along the way I got tired of fighting for it. But I've let things go for so long now- could it be too late? I'm speaking on many levels here not just a particular subject or circumstance.

Today, right now I am accepting that this is my life and this is how it's always going to be unless I change it. I can not depend on others to change or to live up to my expectations. It is what it is. Am I outgrowing my relationships? No, perhaps my relationships were just falsely interpreted with too much hope for something else. What I am realising, is that I am alone. I am truly alone. I must depend on me to make me happy. Because as long as there is internet substiting for real personal relationships, I will be second best in the eyes of my husband. And I'm trying to accept this. I am tired of giving so much energy and emotion to trying to figure this out.

There are things to be done in the home, I am tired of asking repeatedly, tired of waiting. I've been patient. Perhaps it's becoming clear to me that my husband isn't as dependable as he once was to take care of his home and projects around the home as once before. Is it because he doesn't care? or is it he doesn't care about my feelings or happiness? I suppose this is how it's now going to be. And it's saddening. I could get angry and point out the fact that the man hasn't had a fulltime job in two years- so he cannot be tired from working long hours. Even is part time job doesn't require any physical labor. He was more productive around the house for christ sake when he was working! I was also more assertive then. It is Saturday today, it hasn't rained now for three days- so what is his excuse? Still, he sits watching TV and facebooking his days away. That's great.

On such a beautiful day, you'd think we'd be doing some outdoor family activity if not home improvements. Family time just isn't as important to some, as maybe it used to be. So we waste our lives away doing nothing. Internet is the devil. It sucks the life out of people, robbing them of what's truly important. After this blog, I'm going to give the internet a rest. I'm going to rely as little as possible on other people and do whatever it is I need for myself. I'm going to try and be the best mother I can be for my kids. The husband is a big boy and he seems to be doing just fine by himself. So be it... Be by yourself. I refuse to be alone any more. I will be my own best friend for now on. Enjoy your choices.

I must try not to stray from what I know to be true.

From: Buddha Blessings

‎"Seeking the truth" should be part of everyone's lives. However, you may not know where to begin. Here are a few tips.
• Look at yourself. Not only in the mirror of course, you have to look at all of yourself - body and soul. Be objective. Even the characteristics, traits, that is, those qualities in yourself that you do not like-exam...ine these closely. Have a true perspective of yourself.

• Always ask yourself about what the "spiritual" aspect of your life is making you experience right now. Reflect on the spiritual side of life many times a day.

• Identify what patterns of thinking, and "bad habits" that you may have that make you blind to the deeper meaning of your life. Always look for ways to overcome these behaviors, and especially watch out if these are unconscious. You may need a therapist to help you work on your unconscious.

• Make a search of ways to make you even more open to your spiritual side. Identify what spiritual practices are best suited for you to be receptive and understanding of the spiritual truths that govern us and the universe.

• Give a part of each day over for "contemplation" and "reflection". These are two different activities. You focus upon your mission, your destiny, your calling and your purpose. These synonymous words of course can bring similar concepts to your mind. Reflect on these words as they apply to your life. Contemplate, that is, see with your mind (and heart) an object or person that is meaning to your life-to you each and every day. When you reflect on the other hand, you look for lessons that your life experiences are teaching you. Do not go through life hastily. Pause, reflect and learn thereby.

• Have time with little kids. Little children can surprisingly be wonderful sources of enlightenment and wondrous insights. Listen to whatever question they may pose, and see if you can picture yourself as the child that asked that question. See from the same point of view of innocent curiosity. Incorporate this simple, spiritual curiosity as part of your spiritual quest.

• Finally, keep a spiritual notebook or a spiritual journal. Spiritual means that your journey is the focus of such a notebook or journal. However, include general observation and insights. Include things that seem trivial.

(EzineArticles.com)
"Don't blindly believe what I say. Don't believe me because others convince you of my words. Don't believe anything you see, read, or hear from others, whether of authority, religious teachers or texts. Don't rely on logic alone, nor speculation. Don't infer or be deceived by appearances."

"Do not give up your authority and follow blindly the will of others. This way will lead to only delusion."

"Find out for yourself what is truth, what is real. Discover that there are virtuous things and there are non-virtuous things. Once you have discovered for yourself give up the bad and embrace the good."
- The Buddha
( * If you feel even just a tiny bit unconfortable, step away.. from a person, from a situation.. step away. You DON'T have to stick arround. You can choose.

Learn to say NO.

Stop trying to please everyone! Ask yourself these questions: will these people be there for you if you need them? Can’t they really do these things themselves instead of running to you all the time? What will YOU gain from helping out this person?

It’s your life and your time, so you better start prioritizing things that will make YOU happy.* )