Fast forward 6 months.

Wow I can't believe 6 months has passed since my last post. Where the time has gone I just don't know. But one thing is for sure, we've been busy here at Casa de Wons up keeping the joint & adding a new back yard space to hang out in. This is something we've always wanted to do in the past 12yrs that we've lived here. And now finally it's a dream come true! A beautiful gift from my Mom in Law :) And hard work from my Dad & Hubby to put it together. In the spring we really enjoyed it. By summer the heat kept us inside, except for the 1hr a day I would lay out and tan. I've got a great tan by the way ;) Thank You Mr. Sun! watch... I'll get skin cancer now. I sure hope not. Because before this summer I rarely ever got any sun....hence my year long pastiness.

So now that all areas of our home seem to be functional, it's just too warm to enjoy having company over. I'm pretty bummed. And since I'm planning a big birthday celebration for our son jake this weekend I'm on the hunt for a portable space cooler ac unit. 2 would be dandy! I'd like to open up the basement bar but it has to be comfortable for people. Our main AC unit is only three years old and it doesn't seem to be working that great now. I told the hubby at the store when we bought it to get the bigger btu unit, but he swore this one would work fine. Needless to say, I was right. I'm starting to think that maybe I should ARGUE my point acrossed and stick to my guns more often instead of TRUSTING the decisions of others. Cause since I gave up the reigns it's been one disappointment after another.

SO LOOKING FORWARD TO AUTUMN. The son has been one demanding little shit this summer. I feel like a fricken slave when he's home. School can not come soon enough!!! I didn't even wait for the back to school list to come this year- I've already started picking things up. I have one more big function to conquer before then... Dana's 17th birthday. Then I can hopefully regain my sanity and control around here.

Meanwhile, things have been looking up for the hubby at work. He was just promoted to be a supervisor which hopefully will bring in more money every two weeks. It's been extremely tight around here. Something we are no strangers to, but we seem to make do. Where there's a will, I will find a way. All outside assistance has ceased, even George stopped paying child support again back in April. That prick loser has such wonderful timing. But I can't let myself get into that right now. We all know my feelings when it comes to him. I just feel awful when Dana wants something and I cannot give it to her right away. I see what all the other teens have, a car, iphone, cool stuff etc. and it kills me. But lucky for me she understands. I really want to do something special for her birthday this year. I hope I can make it happen.

The holidays have all come and gone, each were filled with the closeness of our family in celebration. This really has been a year for family bonding. I'm blessed. Friendships have changed, things are chill here now on the weekend hangouts with friends. I'm not sure if were growing out of our ways, or what? But drinking and partying just seems blehhh to us anymore. Especially since weight watchers took over my life! I lost 40lbs on it, and Im a lifetime member now :) I'm very proud of myself. And I'm keeping it off just fine! My diet has definitely changed my weekend behaviors. I don't care much for drinking now except on occassion :) Plus I tend to eat a whole lot less when not consuming alcohol. Mmmm but I still love food. I'm currently trying to put together a menu of all our favorite low-fat meals that we love. I want a real menu for the house! Haha... Creativity in the kitchen keeps my diet work fun.

Tomorrow is Jake's 8th birthday :) It's also my parents 37th anniversary. So were having dinner ordered in here at Casa de Wons in celebration :) I plan to make jake an exploding birthday cake to scare the shit out of him :)) Paybacks for all the shit I have to put up with LOL. I can't wait to see his face! That reminds me to recharge my camera batteries. Hahahaha...
Saturday is the Zombie themed party we are hosting for him. I managed to get the decorations and favors in even though ZOMBIES aren't easy to find this time of year. He better appreciate all my hard work to make this day perfect for him. But he probably wont. It's hard finding kids to come to parties. Usually we just buy him a present and take him out somewhere fun. I must have been feeling ambitious this year. Ugga.... now I'm hoping for good weather, so it's not too hot to enjoy.

and that's all I can think of right now for catching up. Hope you weren't too bored ;)

Happy 2012 Everybody!

Happy 2012 Everybody! (Year of the Dragon baby!)
I just know 2012 will bring much love and luck to my family & I. I can feel it in my bones. Oh wait..... that could be the pain in my legs from "BEASTING" at the gym.~as Rob calls it :) Whatever it is, I'm feeling good. So good in fact, I'm feeling a little ambitious? I've gone and made some resolutions this year which I never do.

1st, I'm going to keep working hard, even harder to lose weight by putting in 5 miles a day of cardio workout. And weight train for toning my upper body. After I lost 26lbs I've been at a plateau, it's time to up the routine I think.
2nd, I'd really like to make time for people in my life that we don't usually get to see all that much anymore. There are some really great and funny people, family, and couples in our lives whom I'd love to get to know better. Develop closer friendships. It's just time to branch out a little, I think broaden the horizon a little bit with variety. New conversations sound delightful for 2012.
*We've been blessed to have such awesome friends these past years and I love ya muah! I'm so happy in knowing you'll always be there, thick or thin. No matter what.

My hubby says to me yesterday; "Babe, I feel happy! It's so nice to feel completely happy." It truly is a serene, and tranquil feeling. The challenge is to maintain that feeling. Something not so easy for me, anyhow. I'm usually conquering one issue while slipping by on another. It's a constant tug and pull in my life. So I guess I'll continue to add that to the list of resolutions too.
3rd, To be AWARE of my mindset and keep some kind of happy balance. There are so many things in our daily lives that can throw us off track "IF" we let them. So I've got to remind myself of how blessed my life has been. The wonderful children that "bring" life into my day, the adoring husband that walks beside me through this life holding me up, my parents for being my rock always, and dear friends who love me for me and my multible personalities. ;) (Hey you get 2 for 1!) Gemini's are fun, you never know which one will show up. lol

And my last and final new year resolution is Forgiveness.
4th, I've started truly allowing forgiveness into my heart back in October. I no longer want to carry around sadness or regret, or anything negative that has imprinted on my life. No more... I'm done, and ready to move onward. I've learned letting go of the past is sometimes painful and very hard, but if I hold onto these feelings, it just drags me down. It wears me down. Sometimes people hurt you, it's part of the deal. Learn from it and grow stronger. My goal is to make peace with everyone I've had beef with at some point. I won't allow myself to be taken for a fool, but I'll finally be able to let go of some crud muddying up my zen :)
Ultimately, I will be a skinny, zenful, compassionate, great friend, mom, wife, sister, daughter etc.... by the time 2013 rolls around. haha
xoxox
Nameste!

Quotes Noted

From the Book Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian.
Some of my favorite quotes; highlighted.

"You're going to meet the same people on the way down as you did on the way up. So be grateful and humble for the blessings that have been given to you."

"If someone says no, you're talking to the wrong person."

"If I wanted to get ahead in life, I needed to work."

"If you want something bad enough, and are willing to change your life for it, you can do anything."

While speaking about her 1st marriage; "There are ups and downs and changes in life, but you have to have self-control. You have to understand that relationships have their ebbs and flows, and that life just evolves. It is about love and friendship. It's not always about passion and heat."

"Act on your feelings and share your thoughts rather than hold back, even if it means crossing a privacy line. When you feel like something is really really wrong, it's usually wrong. Follow your instincts; you might just change someone's life."

"Being a Mom means; unconditional, all the time."

"At what point in your life do you stop evolving? Never."

"I am exactly where I'm supposed to be because I know God has a plan for my life."

"Don't ever dicount your environment. Where you live, work, and play has a powerful effect on your happiness and productivity."

"If you feel like you need to go visit your loved one, then go! My instincts would prove to be right." While Kris spoke of her father falling ill.

"Never give up on your dreams just because life get's in the way."

Business 101: "Be nice to everybody. Never take anyone at face value."

"Figure out what you love to do in life and then figure out a way to get paid for it."

I really enjoyed reading this book. I always admired Kris Jenner for her hard work, but after reading this book I've found a new respect for her. Thanks Kris!

December Catching up.

My home looks zen & spacious again, now that Christmas has been stored away. I love the holidays but after 5 weeks of decorations cluttering my space I start to feel cramped. Ahhh, I downsized the diningroom table too-much better. Less is more. Now there's StarWars stuff invading my livingroom. My son doesn't like to play on the floor, so all my sofas and tables have been occupied for 24hr play time while my TV is running the Trilogy 24/7. Guhhh....

So that's given me plenty of time to read my new book, Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian. I'll be finishing it today. She tells the story of her life and her upbringing, and relationships, friends, marriages and how her world came to be. I have to say, we are a lot like but on a different scale. Maybe that's why I can't seem to put the book down. She also goes in depth about OJ and Nicole Brown Simpson, very interesting. Kris and OJ were very close since she was about 17 years old. He was like a big brother to her, then she became best friends with Nicole. She goes into details about the murder trial. I've already got my next book waiting in my Amazon cart haha.

I spent 3 whole hours this morning clipping and organizing my new coupon binder that Santa brought. ABC order baby. It looks amazing! I can't believe I'm finally in order! Outdates are gone. I can actually find things now QUICK! I highly suggest a binder and currency sleeves :) if your a couponer. You can find them on ebay and amazon.


Weight watchers is going good. They decided to keep our location open for another year in hopes business will pick up. But our Thursday night speaker Angela just had to leave. I was told she had a heart attack two weeks ago due to stress. Omg! She's 55yrs old! But she's doing ok now, just cutting back on her work load. How scary. I'm glad she's ok. With the holidays I gained a few pounds and worked really hard to get the weight off before the week was over with success. I ended up back at my normal weight down to the exact ounce. Yay for hard work! I'm learning so much about how my body works. I'm learning what I can get away with and what I can't. It's like a science experiment LOL. So now that I'm back at 149.4 lbs I plan to work out alot this week and eat less holiday junk leftovers. For two weeks my kitchen has been stocked with holiday cookies, chocolate and candy! I usually do good with temptation but, I gave myself permission to enjoy the holiday sweets. I was super good at Halloween, so I indulged at Christmas. It's ok though I didn't fall off track.

I worked myself hard my first day back to the gym with an hour on the treadmill and 40 mins on the elliptical. By the time I got home I was sick as a dog hungry but unable to eat without wanting to vomit. I eventually passed out from the nausea and stomach upset. I later woke up feeling much better. Note to self.... build up stamina slowly or pay the price.
My mind wanders while I'm at the gym. I try to remain focused on keeping my heart rate up, but I'm a little self conscious cause nobody uses the machines next to me. Do I smell? haha or is my tomato face scary? There just always seems to be an open machine next to me. I'm sure I'm just being paranoid, but that's me. Maybe I'm giving off subliminal vibes to keep away so I can focus. Cause frankly I'm not always up for talking especially with new people I don't know. I'm more of a people watcher.

My "other" next door neighbors have been gutting and restoring the house. The noise is been constant for about 6 months! Holy Shit! I liked it so much better when no one lived there. I'm pretty sure they are refinishing the hardwoods this week. All new plumbing, electric, termite extermination, appliances, drywall, you name it. The only thing I havent seen yet is window replacements. I'm really hoping they put carpeting in the bedrooms because I could hear them talking and walking around. I don't want to hear "other" things going on in their room especially while I'm trying to sleep. The banging on the walls sound like they are going to come through!!! The kids keep asking me, Mom what if they break through the wall! Haha so even they are concerned. The cats are jumpy too from all the noise. On the "other" side my neighbor just had a baby. Thankfully she doesn't cry much but when she does, we can hear it. On the upside of things, the dogs barking have been less. They have like 2 or 3 ankle biters and 2 cats I believe. Besides the parking wars between us, we thankfully haven't had much trouble from them lately. See... I believe my crystal magic is working.

And that is that for now. Because my son is bugging me for a bath. I shall return soon enough with more jibber jabber and meaningless catching up :) Tootles.

Merry Christmas 2011

The Christmas holiday went off without a hitch, with all of our family celebrating together. Chris and I hosted our annual Christmas eve funky attire party which was a hit :) We ordered in our annual Chinese grub dinner and exchanged gifts. The gifts were so abundant this year my head was spinning. There's nothing I love more than watching everyone opening their gifts, adults included. My goal every year is make even the adults feel like kids again on Christmas. Dressing silly and playing games helps with that hahaha. What I'm most thankful for this year is something called "forgiveness." Total forgiveness for past differences, short-comings, and what have you. It really feels good to let go of negative feelings. Forgiveness is freeing space in the heart, allowing love to flow. :))

Christmas morning started bright and early, 7am to be exact. Jake came running in to wake up us sleepy heads in hopes that Santa came. And Santa sure did come... spewing presents all over the place! Foe Jake it was a Star Wars Christmas! He recieved a ton of character action figures, all the star ships, and the huge AT-AT he really wanted. Dana got so many grown up pretty things for her bedroom, like demask curtains, new bedding, pillows, and beauty products :) Chris was spoiled with the Zen theme again this year. He plans to change his basement into a zen den for his reading and  meditation practices. Christmas for me was amazing. I was spoiled with home decor, and cozy comforts! I'm so looking forward to packing away christmas and getting back to an uncluttered space & candles :)

By 11am we all met up for breakfast at the 4 Seasons Diner where we stuffed our tummies once more. Mmmm.... then went back to our homes where I took a few hours to nap since I could hardly sleep the night before. (Like a little kid). We later all met up at my parents house for dinner and card games :) Betty my mother in law made a new little friend, my nephew Jeremy. It was nice to see them playing and chatting away. I really think she misses having little ones around.

Monday was the day after Christmas clearance sales! We headed out about noon and still managed to catch some deals. We shopped for a good 7hrs. guh... Dana and I were so tired by the time we got home. I'm still friggen tired as I type this. I just might have to get in another nap before 3pm. Cause I need to get my butt to the gym for the next three days for an hour & a half high intensity workout. Just so I can work off the holiday weight I think I've accumulated. WAHHHH

I just thought of something else I'm truly grateful for; I am so grateful that my mother found not one, but two great homes for pets I can no longer house. Charm the territorial cat went to a co-workers home where she is being spoiled rotten. I get daily updates on how well she's fitting in there and the relationships she's formed with her new owners. I'm so glad it's working out! She really does well being the only pet. And Karma the Iguana found the perfect home with two other Iguana friends at my sister's friend Irina's. Her name was changed to Yoshi and has her own room! She's even allowed to roam freely throughout the house. I can tell she's loving her new home because she looks so happy in all her pictures. Yes I also get daily updates on her, accompanied with amazing photos! I'm so glad she's in a place now where she can enjoy herself and freedom. All has worked out for the best! And for that my heart is all warm and fuzzy :)

I sure hope your holidays were as merry and bright. And remember, it's not about the material things, it's about being together :) xoxox

Smh.

As it turns out, I will be making a double layer specialty sheet cake on Winter Solstice for the deli employees my mom works with. I have some ideas that I think are cute but again, I wasn't thinking things through when I agreed to do it.... say oh um like it's the WINTER SOLSTICE! Amy, Amy, Amy... I SMH at myself sometimes. But oh well, I'd better make the best of it. I'll also need to fit in my weight watchers meeting too that night. Ugg......

And speaking of which, I am thrilled to say I've gone from 175.6 lbs (size 14) down to 149 lbs (size 10) so far in the process. My work is not yet done, but I'm so close to being the size that makes me mentally comfortable. My body isn't achey anymore and I have so much more energy. It's so refreshing! Having a structured system to live by has been the only thing to work for me. Thank You Weight Watchers for holding my hand through it. I can't wait to lose another 20lbs!

Christmas Eve is on Sunday, and I just started losing my holiday spirit this morning. But then again I started a week early this year (the day after Thanksgiving actually). There's just so much consumerism!!!! it's making me want to vomit-literally. I need to just stop-put a cork in the spending of cash I don't have to spend on stupid presents. Enough is enough. And ya know, I do it every year whether I can or not...we find a way to provide Christmas for our dear loved ones even if it breaks us, or we have to sell our souls to the devil himself (we know he doesn't exisit but you catch my drift). Who we're really selling our souls to is BIG BUSINESSES that brainwash us everyday to SPEND SPEND SPEND! You need this, You need that! This THING will make you happy! But happiness can only be found within ourselves...right? Well not if you have kids that want, want, want. A parents love and a fruit basket isn't cutting it. And even though each year I love watching the excitement in my childrens faces as they open their gifts, the nausea sets in once all the gift wrap and bows are cleared away, and the huge pile of trash sits waiting to be sorted and broken down into the recycling baskets. Because, yes...once again I've bought into the BIG BUSINESS's plan.

Don't hate me because I'm feeling a lil BAHUMBUGGERISH just days before the big day.

I usually try to distract myself with planning little activities for the family to do around the holidays, making memories. But this year it seems we've all been just a little too busy and tired to do anything. We havent gone to see the lights, or bake cookies. We haven't made gingerbread houses or even really settled in to watch Christmas movies yet. We did however go to NYC to see the Rocketts Christmas Spectacular :) That is something we don't get to do usually. I think I can be happy with that.

Stay tuned.... I have some Child Ranting blogs ahead in the near future. lol
Until then, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, and Happy Hanukkah!!!

Verbal Assault Vehical

One step forward, two steps back. That seems to be a life theme here. Repeating God awful lessons until they are perfected or at least sink in some what. So I sit here thinking to myself, "how many times will I get it wrong until I learn already?" The answer..... No more. I don't like hurting others with stupid unthought out unkind words. The problem lately it seems, is that I've been running my mouth without fully thinking it through first. And that's wrong. How do I go from a quiet person that never voices an opinion to a diarhetic verbal assault vehical? Have I become so jaded by the people and circumstances around me that I forgot how to respect the feelings of those I may be hurting? Wow.... so yeah these are the questions that have been weighing on my mind this week.

It's the second time, this stupid lesson is rearing it's ugliness. Something must be learned from it & it needs to stop here. This blog will help remind me of that. As I look back over this past year searching for clues as to what changed in my life, asking when exactly did I start to slip backward away from the positive path I was on..... I don't think it was anything in particular but perhaps a mesh of things and people getting my goat over time that has led me back to a harsh and sarcastic front. Sure it feels GREAT to shield & protect my feelings behind sarcasm but over time, I've lost my way- strayed from the path. It just goes to show that personal development is a task done "everyday" and is never ending. I wont beat myself up over it, because humanity is not perfect. I make mistakes, and sometimes I make them more than once. But I refuse to make this mistake again. For now on, I will take extra care to think before I speak or post things that discriminate against others. I will try and get back to the kind loving person that I was becoming. It's time to make that effort, and hopefully make it stick.

Life's lessons certainly keep things interesting that's for sure.
Here's to a nicer tomorrow.
xox