Sweet sweet surrender
fists calmly relax by my sides
your whisper is so tender.
releasing the flow of tension and fear that I ride.
Life is knowing when to let go
knowing what to fight for
and when to just watch the show.
The key to happiness is maintaining balance
feed the soul, keep a healthy body & happy mind.
Use creativity & your talents
and a joyous life you shall find.
Be still and just listen
the answers will come.
You just need to surrender
And let thy destiny be done.
~Amy Wons
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
"Got to be true to myself"
I'm 37 years old. My mind is hungry for knowledge. My body is tired, but my creativity is burning from within, just waiting for an outlet. I feel ready, & willing for a new journey in life. There could be a move on the horizon. The big change I long for. I'm placing my trust in the universe with this one. If it's time & meant to be, the right doors will open for us. We are ready to trade in the paved busy city life, for serene green acres. But within a few miles of a shopping mall please. LOL Oh hell, right now I really want to be on a tropical beach drinking a pina colada. Vacation please?
Summer vacation has been running smoothly thus far. Jake hasn't really been much of a pain yet. Could he be maturing finally? We all slept in for the first time today 12pm Oh my! I've been on a strict schedule up early and to bed early for a long while now. It helps with my hunger and energy levels. But I've been slacking off with the gym (makes me so mad at myself). I'm lingering at 139lbs. Urg!!! Maybe I need to surgically remove the final 9-15lbs? I could stand a tuck here and there ;) Replace it into my itty bitty titties. LOL!!!
We got the kids a new pet this past weekend. Obi Wons the Ferret. So far he fits in perfectly with his goofball personality. Always stealing shoes. He's a cutie, lighter fur with a big nose. He's about 6 months old and I don't think he's even been out of a cage until he came home with us. He gets so excited when he's let out. The cats are warming up to him too. I've noticed since bringing Obi home, the cats have been more lovable. Odd. The kids get a real kick out of him too. I'm looking forward to teaching him tricks. Right now we are trying to teach him not to bite. He get's excited and nips.
Dana is getting all of her dorm room shopping done this week. I took her out a few times, bonding time. Can't believe it. She's staying on campus. It's going to feel so weird not having her here with us. I'm so proud of how she's grown. Not giving in to peer pressure, or city troubles that teens usually fall victim to. We're really lucky parents. And we're close! We have such a great friendship. I'm so thankful that she's able to pursue her dreams. Go get 'em girl! AU!!!
So lately, I've been feeling like I have things to actually say. So more blogs to come.
Closer to Home.
She walks barefoot upon the earth,
a little closer to home.
Ears open to the wind,
she hears Mother calling.
Eyes peeled to the skies,
she's lost within eternity.
And finds herself there.
Amongst the stars
Soaring with the comets,
The vast space envelops her.
And she is once again whole.
~Amy Wons
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Fast forward 6 months.
Wow I can't believe 6 months has passed since my last post. Where the time has gone I just don't know. But one thing is for sure, we've been busy here at Casa de Wons up keeping the joint & adding a new back yard space to hang out in. This is something we've always wanted to do in the past 12yrs that we've lived here. And now finally it's a dream come true! A beautiful gift from my Mom in Law :) And hard work from my Dad & Hubby to put it together. In the spring we really enjoyed it. By summer the heat kept us inside, except for the 1hr a day I would lay out and tan. I've got a great tan by the way ;) Thank You Mr. Sun! watch... I'll get skin cancer now. I sure hope not. Because before this summer I rarely ever got any sun....hence my year long pastiness.
So now that all areas of our home seem to be functional, it's just too warm to enjoy having company over. I'm pretty bummed. And since I'm planning a big birthday celebration for our son jake this weekend I'm on the hunt for a portable space cooler ac unit. 2 would be dandy! I'd like to open up the basement bar but it has to be comfortable for people. Our main AC unit is only three years old and it doesn't seem to be working that great now. I told the hubby at the store when we bought it to get the bigger btu unit, but he swore this one would work fine. Needless to say, I was right. I'm starting to think that maybe I should ARGUE my point acrossed and stick to my guns more often instead of TRUSTING the decisions of others. Cause since I gave up the reigns it's been one disappointment after another.
SO LOOKING FORWARD TO AUTUMN. The son has been one demanding little shit this summer. I feel like a fricken slave when he's home. School can not come soon enough!!! I didn't even wait for the back to school list to come this year- I've already started picking things up. I have one more big function to conquer before then... Dana's 17th birthday. Then I can hopefully regain my sanity and control around here.
Meanwhile, things have been looking up for the hubby at work. He was just promoted to be a supervisor which hopefully will bring in more money every two weeks. It's been extremely tight around here. Something we are no strangers to, but we seem to make do. Where there's a will, I will find a way. All outside assistance has ceased, even George stopped paying child support again back in April. That prick loser has such wonderful timing. But I can't let myself get into that right now. We all know my feelings when it comes to him. I just feel awful when Dana wants something and I cannot give it to her right away. I see what all the other teens have, a car, iphone, cool stuff etc. and it kills me. But lucky for me she understands. I really want to do something special for her birthday this year. I hope I can make it happen.
The holidays have all come and gone, each were filled with the closeness of our family in celebration. This really has been a year for family bonding. I'm blessed. Friendships have changed, things are chill here now on the weekend hangouts with friends. I'm not sure if were growing out of our ways, or what? But drinking and partying just seems blehhh to us anymore. Especially since weight watchers took over my life! I lost 40lbs on it, and Im a lifetime member now :) I'm very proud of myself. And I'm keeping it off just fine! My diet has definitely changed my weekend behaviors. I don't care much for drinking now except on occassion :) Plus I tend to eat a whole lot less when not consuming alcohol. Mmmm but I still love food. I'm currently trying to put together a menu of all our favorite low-fat meals that we love. I want a real menu for the house! Haha... Creativity in the kitchen keeps my diet work fun.
Tomorrow is Jake's 8th birthday :) It's also my parents 37th anniversary. So were having dinner ordered in here at Casa de Wons in celebration :) I plan to make jake an exploding birthday cake to scare the shit out of him :)) Paybacks for all the shit I have to put up with LOL. I can't wait to see his face! That reminds me to recharge my camera batteries. Hahahaha...
Saturday is the Zombie themed party we are hosting for him. I managed to get the decorations and favors in even though ZOMBIES aren't easy to find this time of year. He better appreciate all my hard work to make this day perfect for him. But he probably wont. It's hard finding kids to come to parties. Usually we just buy him a present and take him out somewhere fun. I must have been feeling ambitious this year. Ugga.... now I'm hoping for good weather, so it's not too hot to enjoy.
and that's all I can think of right now for catching up. Hope you weren't too bored ;)
So now that all areas of our home seem to be functional, it's just too warm to enjoy having company over. I'm pretty bummed. And since I'm planning a big birthday celebration for our son jake this weekend I'm on the hunt for a portable space cooler ac unit. 2 would be dandy! I'd like to open up the basement bar but it has to be comfortable for people. Our main AC unit is only three years old and it doesn't seem to be working that great now. I told the hubby at the store when we bought it to get the bigger btu unit, but he swore this one would work fine. Needless to say, I was right. I'm starting to think that maybe I should ARGUE my point acrossed and stick to my guns more often instead of TRUSTING the decisions of others. Cause since I gave up the reigns it's been one disappointment after another.
SO LOOKING FORWARD TO AUTUMN. The son has been one demanding little shit this summer. I feel like a fricken slave when he's home. School can not come soon enough!!! I didn't even wait for the back to school list to come this year- I've already started picking things up. I have one more big function to conquer before then... Dana's 17th birthday. Then I can hopefully regain my sanity and control around here.
Meanwhile, things have been looking up for the hubby at work. He was just promoted to be a supervisor which hopefully will bring in more money every two weeks. It's been extremely tight around here. Something we are no strangers to, but we seem to make do. Where there's a will, I will find a way. All outside assistance has ceased, even George stopped paying child support again back in April. That prick loser has such wonderful timing. But I can't let myself get into that right now. We all know my feelings when it comes to him. I just feel awful when Dana wants something and I cannot give it to her right away. I see what all the other teens have, a car, iphone, cool stuff etc. and it kills me. But lucky for me she understands. I really want to do something special for her birthday this year. I hope I can make it happen.
The holidays have all come and gone, each were filled with the closeness of our family in celebration. This really has been a year for family bonding. I'm blessed. Friendships have changed, things are chill here now on the weekend hangouts with friends. I'm not sure if were growing out of our ways, or what? But drinking and partying just seems blehhh to us anymore. Especially since weight watchers took over my life! I lost 40lbs on it, and Im a lifetime member now :) I'm very proud of myself. And I'm keeping it off just fine! My diet has definitely changed my weekend behaviors. I don't care much for drinking now except on occassion :) Plus I tend to eat a whole lot less when not consuming alcohol. Mmmm but I still love food. I'm currently trying to put together a menu of all our favorite low-fat meals that we love. I want a real menu for the house! Haha... Creativity in the kitchen keeps my diet work fun.
Tomorrow is Jake's 8th birthday :) It's also my parents 37th anniversary. So were having dinner ordered in here at Casa de Wons in celebration :) I plan to make jake an exploding birthday cake to scare the shit out of him :)) Paybacks for all the shit I have to put up with LOL. I can't wait to see his face! That reminds me to recharge my camera batteries. Hahahaha...
Saturday is the Zombie themed party we are hosting for him. I managed to get the decorations and favors in even though ZOMBIES aren't easy to find this time of year. He better appreciate all my hard work to make this day perfect for him. But he probably wont. It's hard finding kids to come to parties. Usually we just buy him a present and take him out somewhere fun. I must have been feeling ambitious this year. Ugga.... now I'm hoping for good weather, so it's not too hot to enjoy.
and that's all I can think of right now for catching up. Hope you weren't too bored ;)
Monday, January 9, 2012
Happy 2012 Everybody!
Happy 2012 Everybody! (Year of the Dragon baby!)
I just know 2012 will bring much love and luck to my family & I. I can feel it in my bones. Oh wait..... that could be the pain in my legs from "BEASTING" at the gym.~as Rob calls it :) Whatever it is, I'm feeling good. So good in fact, I'm feeling a little ambitious? I've gone and made some resolutions this year which I never do.
1st, I'm going to keep working hard, even harder to lose weight by putting in 5 miles a day of cardio workout. And weight train for toning my upper body. After I lost 26lbs I've been at a plateau, it's time to up the routine I think.
2nd, I'd really like to make time for people in my life that we don't usually get to see all that much anymore. There are some really great and funny people, family, and couples in our lives whom I'd love to get to know better. Develop closer friendships. It's just time to branch out a little, I think broaden the horizon a little bit with variety. New conversations sound delightful for 2012.
*We've been blessed to have such awesome friends these past years and I love ya muah! I'm so happy in knowing you'll always be there, thick or thin. No matter what.
My hubby says to me yesterday; "Babe, I feel happy! It's so nice to feel completely happy." It truly is a serene, and tranquil feeling. The challenge is to maintain that feeling. Something not so easy for me, anyhow. I'm usually conquering one issue while slipping by on another. It's a constant tug and pull in my life. So I guess I'll continue to add that to the list of resolutions too.
3rd, To be AWARE of my mindset and keep some kind of happy balance. There are so many things in our daily lives that can throw us off track "IF" we let them. So I've got to remind myself of how blessed my life has been. The wonderful children that "bring" life into my day, the adoring husband that walks beside me through this life holding me up, my parents for being my rock always, and dear friends who love me for me and my multible personalities. ;) (Hey you get 2 for 1!) Gemini's are fun, you never know which one will show up. lol
And my last and final new year resolution is Forgiveness.
4th, I've started truly allowing forgiveness into my heart back in October. I no longer want to carry around sadness or regret, or anything negative that has imprinted on my life. No more... I'm done, and ready to move onward. I've learned letting go of the past is sometimes painful and very hard, but if I hold onto these feelings, it just drags me down. It wears me down. Sometimes people hurt you, it's part of the deal. Learn from it and grow stronger. My goal is to make peace with everyone I've had beef with at some point. I won't allow myself to be taken for a fool, but I'll finally be able to let go of some crud muddying up my zen :)
Ultimately, I will be a skinny, zenful, compassionate, great friend, mom, wife, sister, daughter etc.... by the time 2013 rolls around. haha
xoxox
Nameste!
I just know 2012 will bring much love and luck to my family & I. I can feel it in my bones. Oh wait..... that could be the pain in my legs from "BEASTING" at the gym.~as Rob calls it :) Whatever it is, I'm feeling good. So good in fact, I'm feeling a little ambitious? I've gone and made some resolutions this year which I never do.
1st, I'm going to keep working hard, even harder to lose weight by putting in 5 miles a day of cardio workout. And weight train for toning my upper body. After I lost 26lbs I've been at a plateau, it's time to up the routine I think.
2nd, I'd really like to make time for people in my life that we don't usually get to see all that much anymore. There are some really great and funny people, family, and couples in our lives whom I'd love to get to know better. Develop closer friendships. It's just time to branch out a little, I think broaden the horizon a little bit with variety. New conversations sound delightful for 2012.
*We've been blessed to have such awesome friends these past years and I love ya muah! I'm so happy in knowing you'll always be there, thick or thin. No matter what.
My hubby says to me yesterday; "Babe, I feel happy! It's so nice to feel completely happy." It truly is a serene, and tranquil feeling. The challenge is to maintain that feeling. Something not so easy for me, anyhow. I'm usually conquering one issue while slipping by on another. It's a constant tug and pull in my life. So I guess I'll continue to add that to the list of resolutions too.
3rd, To be AWARE of my mindset and keep some kind of happy balance. There are so many things in our daily lives that can throw us off track "IF" we let them. So I've got to remind myself of how blessed my life has been. The wonderful children that "bring" life into my day, the adoring husband that walks beside me through this life holding me up, my parents for being my rock always, and dear friends who love me for me and my multible personalities. ;) (Hey you get 2 for 1!) Gemini's are fun, you never know which one will show up. lol
And my last and final new year resolution is Forgiveness.
4th, I've started truly allowing forgiveness into my heart back in October. I no longer want to carry around sadness or regret, or anything negative that has imprinted on my life. No more... I'm done, and ready to move onward. I've learned letting go of the past is sometimes painful and very hard, but if I hold onto these feelings, it just drags me down. It wears me down. Sometimes people hurt you, it's part of the deal. Learn from it and grow stronger. My goal is to make peace with everyone I've had beef with at some point. I won't allow myself to be taken for a fool, but I'll finally be able to let go of some crud muddying up my zen :)
Ultimately, I will be a skinny, zenful, compassionate, great friend, mom, wife, sister, daughter etc.... by the time 2013 rolls around. haha
xoxox
Nameste!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Quotes Noted
Some of my favorite quotes; highlighted.
"You're going to meet the same people on the way down as you did on the way up. So be grateful and humble for the blessings that have been given to you."
"If someone says no, you're talking to the wrong person."
"If I wanted to get ahead in life, I needed to work."
"If you want something bad enough, and are willing to change your life for it, you can do anything."
While speaking about her 1st marriage; "There are ups and downs and changes in life, but you have to have self-control. You have to understand that relationships have their ebbs and flows, and that life just evolves. It is about love and friendship. It's not always about passion and heat."
"Act on your feelings and share your thoughts rather than hold back, even if it means crossing a privacy line. When you feel like something is really really wrong, it's usually wrong. Follow your instincts; you might just change someone's life."
"Being a Mom means; unconditional, all the time."
"At what point in your life do you stop evolving? Never."
"I am exactly where I'm supposed to be because I know God has a plan for my life."
"Don't ever dicount your environment. Where you live, work, and play has a powerful effect on your happiness and productivity."
"If you feel like you need to go visit your loved one, then go! My instincts would prove to be right." While Kris spoke of her father falling ill.
"Never give up on your dreams just because life get's in the way."
Business 101: "Be nice to everybody. Never take anyone at face value."
"Figure out what you love to do in life and then figure out a way to get paid for it."
I really enjoyed reading this book. I always admired Kris Jenner for her hard work, but after reading this book I've found a new respect for her. Thanks Kris!
Friday, December 30, 2011
December Catching up.
My home looks zen & spacious again, now that Christmas has been stored away. I love the holidays but after 5 weeks of decorations cluttering my space I start to feel cramped. Ahhh, I downsized the diningroom table too-much better. Less is more. Now there's StarWars stuff invading my livingroom. My son doesn't like to play on the floor, so all my sofas and tables have been occupied for 24hr play time while my TV is running the Trilogy 24/7. Guhhh....
So that's given me plenty of time to read my new book, Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian. I'll be finishing it today. She tells the story of her life and her upbringing, and relationships, friends, marriages and how her world came to be. I have to say, we are a lot like but on a different scale. Maybe that's why I can't seem to put the book down. She also goes in depth about OJ and Nicole Brown Simpson, very interesting. Kris and OJ were very close since she was about 17 years old. He was like a big brother to her, then she became best friends with Nicole. She goes into details about the murder trial. I've already got my next book waiting in my Amazon cart haha.
I spent 3 whole hours this morning clipping and organizing my new coupon binder that Santa brought. ABC order baby. It looks amazing! I can't believe I'm finally in order! Outdates are gone. I can actually find things now QUICK! I highly suggest a binder and currency sleeves :) if your a couponer. You can find them on ebay and amazon.
Weight watchers is going good. They decided to keep our location open for another year in hopes business will pick up. But our Thursday night speaker Angela just had to leave. I was told she had a heart attack two weeks ago due to stress. Omg! She's 55yrs old! But she's doing ok now, just cutting back on her work load. How scary. I'm glad she's ok. With the holidays I gained a few pounds and worked really hard to get the weight off before the week was over with success. I ended up back at my normal weight down to the exact ounce. Yay for hard work! I'm learning so much about how my body works. I'm learning what I can get away with and what I can't. It's like a science experiment LOL. So now that I'm back at 149.4 lbs I plan to work out alot this week and eat less holiday junk leftovers. For two weeks my kitchen has been stocked with holiday cookies, chocolate and candy! I usually do good with temptation but, I gave myself permission to enjoy the holiday sweets. I was super good at Halloween, so I indulged at Christmas. It's ok though I didn't fall off track.
I worked myself hard my first day back to the gym with an hour on the treadmill and 40 mins on the elliptical. By the time I got home I was sick as a dog hungry but unable to eat without wanting to vomit. I eventually passed out from the nausea and stomach upset. I later woke up feeling much better. Note to self.... build up stamina slowly or pay the price.
My mind wanders while I'm at the gym. I try to remain focused on keeping my heart rate up, but I'm a little self conscious cause nobody uses the machines next to me. Do I smell? haha or is my tomato face scary? There just always seems to be an open machine next to me. I'm sure I'm just being paranoid, but that's me. Maybe I'm giving off subliminal vibes to keep away so I can focus. Cause frankly I'm not always up for talking especially with new people I don't know. I'm more of a people watcher.
My "other" next door neighbors have been gutting and restoring the house. The noise is been constant for about 6 months! Holy Shit! I liked it so much better when no one lived there. I'm pretty sure they are refinishing the hardwoods this week. All new plumbing, electric, termite extermination, appliances, drywall, you name it. The only thing I havent seen yet is window replacements. I'm really hoping they put carpeting in the bedrooms because I could hear them talking and walking around. I don't want to hear "other" things going on in their room especially while I'm trying to sleep. The banging on the walls sound like they are going to come through!!! The kids keep asking me, Mom what if they break through the wall! Haha so even they are concerned. The cats are jumpy too from all the noise. On the "other" side my neighbor just had a baby. Thankfully she doesn't cry much but when she does, we can hear it. On the upside of things, the dogs barking have been less. They have like 2 or 3 ankle biters and 2 cats I believe. Besides the parking wars between us, we thankfully haven't had much trouble from them lately. See... I believe my crystal magic is working.
And that is that for now. Because my son is bugging me for a bath. I shall return soon enough with more jibber jabber and meaningless catching up :) Tootles.
So that's given me plenty of time to read my new book, Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian. I'll be finishing it today. She tells the story of her life and her upbringing, and relationships, friends, marriages and how her world came to be. I have to say, we are a lot like but on a different scale. Maybe that's why I can't seem to put the book down. She also goes in depth about OJ and Nicole Brown Simpson, very interesting. Kris and OJ were very close since she was about 17 years old. He was like a big brother to her, then she became best friends with Nicole. She goes into details about the murder trial. I've already got my next book waiting in my Amazon cart haha.
I spent 3 whole hours this morning clipping and organizing my new coupon binder that Santa brought. ABC order baby. It looks amazing! I can't believe I'm finally in order! Outdates are gone. I can actually find things now QUICK! I highly suggest a binder and currency sleeves :) if your a couponer. You can find them on ebay and amazon.
Weight watchers is going good. They decided to keep our location open for another year in hopes business will pick up. But our Thursday night speaker Angela just had to leave. I was told she had a heart attack two weeks ago due to stress. Omg! She's 55yrs old! But she's doing ok now, just cutting back on her work load. How scary. I'm glad she's ok. With the holidays I gained a few pounds and worked really hard to get the weight off before the week was over with success. I ended up back at my normal weight down to the exact ounce. Yay for hard work! I'm learning so much about how my body works. I'm learning what I can get away with and what I can't. It's like a science experiment LOL. So now that I'm back at 149.4 lbs I plan to work out alot this week and eat less holiday junk leftovers. For two weeks my kitchen has been stocked with holiday cookies, chocolate and candy! I usually do good with temptation but, I gave myself permission to enjoy the holiday sweets. I was super good at Halloween, so I indulged at Christmas. It's ok though I didn't fall off track.
I worked myself hard my first day back to the gym with an hour on the treadmill and 40 mins on the elliptical. By the time I got home I was sick as a dog hungry but unable to eat without wanting to vomit. I eventually passed out from the nausea and stomach upset. I later woke up feeling much better. Note to self.... build up stamina slowly or pay the price.
My mind wanders while I'm at the gym. I try to remain focused on keeping my heart rate up, but I'm a little self conscious cause nobody uses the machines next to me. Do I smell? haha or is my tomato face scary? There just always seems to be an open machine next to me. I'm sure I'm just being paranoid, but that's me. Maybe I'm giving off subliminal vibes to keep away so I can focus. Cause frankly I'm not always up for talking especially with new people I don't know. I'm more of a people watcher.
My "other" next door neighbors have been gutting and restoring the house. The noise is been constant for about 6 months! Holy Shit! I liked it so much better when no one lived there. I'm pretty sure they are refinishing the hardwoods this week. All new plumbing, electric, termite extermination, appliances, drywall, you name it. The only thing I havent seen yet is window replacements. I'm really hoping they put carpeting in the bedrooms because I could hear them talking and walking around. I don't want to hear "other" things going on in their room especially while I'm trying to sleep. The banging on the walls sound like they are going to come through!!! The kids keep asking me, Mom what if they break through the wall! Haha so even they are concerned. The cats are jumpy too from all the noise. On the "other" side my neighbor just had a baby. Thankfully she doesn't cry much but when she does, we can hear it. On the upside of things, the dogs barking have been less. They have like 2 or 3 ankle biters and 2 cats I believe. Besides the parking wars between us, we thankfully haven't had much trouble from them lately. See... I believe my crystal magic is working.
And that is that for now. Because my son is bugging me for a bath. I shall return soon enough with more jibber jabber and meaningless catching up :) Tootles.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Merry Christmas 2011
Christmas morning started bright and early, 7am to be exact. Jake came running in to wake up us sleepy heads in hopes that Santa came. And Santa sure did come... spewing presents all over the place! Foe Jake it was a Star Wars Christmas! He recieved a ton of character action figures, all the star ships, and the huge AT-AT he really wanted. Dana got so many grown up pretty things for her bedroom, like demask curtains, new bedding, pillows, and beauty products :) Chris was spoiled with the Zen theme again this year. He plans to change his basement into a zen den for his reading and meditation practices. Christmas for me was amazing. I was spoiled with home decor, and cozy comforts! I'm so looking forward to packing away christmas and getting back to an uncluttered space & candles :)
By 11am we all met up for breakfast at the 4 Seasons Diner where we stuffed our tummies once more. Mmmm.... then went back to our homes where I took a few hours to nap since I could hardly sleep the night before. (Like a little kid). We later all met up at my parents house for dinner and card games :) Betty my mother in law made a new little friend, my nephew Jeremy. It was nice to see them playing and chatting away. I really think she misses having little ones around.
Monday was the day after Christmas clearance sales! We headed out about noon and still managed to catch some deals. We shopped for a good 7hrs. guh... Dana and I were so tired by the time we got home. I'm still friggen tired as I type this. I just might have to get in another nap before 3pm. Cause I need to get my butt to the gym for the next three days for an hour & a half high intensity workout. Just so I can work off the holiday weight I think I've accumulated. WAHHHH
I just thought of something else I'm truly grateful for; I am so grateful that my mother found not one, but two great homes for pets I can no longer house. Charm the territorial cat went to a co-workers home where she is being spoiled rotten. I get daily updates on how well she's fitting in there and the relationships she's formed with her new owners. I'm so glad it's working out! She really does well being the only pet. And Karma the Iguana found the perfect home with two other Iguana friends at my sister's friend Irina's. Her name was changed to Yoshi and has her own room! She's even allowed to roam freely throughout the house. I can tell she's loving her new home because she looks so happy in all her pictures. Yes I also get daily updates on her, accompanied with amazing photos! I'm so glad she's in a place now where she can enjoy herself and freedom. All has worked out for the best! And for that my heart is all warm and fuzzy :)
I sure hope your holidays were as merry and bright. And remember, it's not about the material things, it's about being together :) xoxox
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Smh.
As it turns out, I will be making a double layer specialty sheet cake on Winter Solstice for the deli employees my mom works with. I have some ideas that I think are cute but again, I wasn't thinking things through when I agreed to do it.... say oh um like it's the WINTER SOLSTICE! Amy, Amy, Amy... I SMH at myself sometimes. But oh well, I'd better make the best of it. I'll also need to fit in my weight watchers meeting too that night. Ugg......
And speaking of which, I am thrilled to say I've gone from 175.6 lbs (size 14) down to 149 lbs (size 10) so far in the process. My work is not yet done, but I'm so close to being the size that makes me mentally comfortable. My body isn't achey anymore and I have so much more energy. It's so refreshing! Having a structured system to live by has been the only thing to work for me. Thank You Weight Watchers for holding my hand through it. I can't wait to lose another 20lbs!
Christmas Eve is on Sunday, and I just started losing my holiday spirit this morning. But then again I started a week early this year (the day after Thanksgiving actually). There's just so much consumerism!!!! it's making me want to vomit-literally. I need to just stop-put a cork in the spending of cash I don't have to spend on stupid presents. Enough is enough. And ya know, I do it every year whether I can or not...we find a way to provide Christmas for our dear loved ones even if it breaks us, or we have to sell our souls to the devil himself (we know he doesn't exisit but you catch my drift). Who we're really selling our souls to is BIG BUSINESSES that brainwash us everyday to SPEND SPEND SPEND! You need this, You need that! This THING will make you happy! But happiness can only be found within ourselves...right? Well not if you have kids that want, want, want. A parents love and a fruit basket isn't cutting it. And even though each year I love watching the excitement in my childrens faces as they open their gifts, the nausea sets in once all the gift wrap and bows are cleared away, and the huge pile of trash sits waiting to be sorted and broken down into the recycling baskets. Because, yes...once again I've bought into the BIG BUSINESS's plan.
Don't hate me because I'm feeling a lil BAHUMBUGGERISH just days before the big day.
I usually try to distract myself with planning little activities for the family to do around the holidays, making memories. But this year it seems we've all been just a little too busy and tired to do anything. We havent gone to see the lights, or bake cookies. We haven't made gingerbread houses or even really settled in to watch Christmas movies yet. We did however go to NYC to see the Rocketts Christmas Spectacular :) That is something we don't get to do usually. I think I can be happy with that.
Stay tuned.... I have some Child Ranting blogs ahead in the near future. lol
Until then, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, and Happy Hanukkah!!!
And speaking of which, I am thrilled to say I've gone from 175.6 lbs (size 14) down to 149 lbs (size 10) so far in the process. My work is not yet done, but I'm so close to being the size that makes me mentally comfortable. My body isn't achey anymore and I have so much more energy. It's so refreshing! Having a structured system to live by has been the only thing to work for me. Thank You Weight Watchers for holding my hand through it. I can't wait to lose another 20lbs!
Christmas Eve is on Sunday, and I just started losing my holiday spirit this morning. But then again I started a week early this year (the day after Thanksgiving actually). There's just so much consumerism!!!! it's making me want to vomit-literally. I need to just stop-put a cork in the spending of cash I don't have to spend on stupid presents. Enough is enough. And ya know, I do it every year whether I can or not...we find a way to provide Christmas for our dear loved ones even if it breaks us, or we have to sell our souls to the devil himself (we know he doesn't exisit but you catch my drift). Who we're really selling our souls to is BIG BUSINESSES that brainwash us everyday to SPEND SPEND SPEND! You need this, You need that! This THING will make you happy! But happiness can only be found within ourselves...right? Well not if you have kids that want, want, want. A parents love and a fruit basket isn't cutting it. And even though each year I love watching the excitement in my childrens faces as they open their gifts, the nausea sets in once all the gift wrap and bows are cleared away, and the huge pile of trash sits waiting to be sorted and broken down into the recycling baskets. Because, yes...once again I've bought into the BIG BUSINESS's plan.
Don't hate me because I'm feeling a lil BAHUMBUGGERISH just days before the big day.
I usually try to distract myself with planning little activities for the family to do around the holidays, making memories. But this year it seems we've all been just a little too busy and tired to do anything. We havent gone to see the lights, or bake cookies. We haven't made gingerbread houses or even really settled in to watch Christmas movies yet. We did however go to NYC to see the Rocketts Christmas Spectacular :) That is something we don't get to do usually. I think I can be happy with that.
Stay tuned.... I have some Child Ranting blogs ahead in the near future. lol
Until then, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, and Happy Hanukkah!!!
Verbal Assault Vehical
One step forward, two steps back. That seems to be a life theme here. Repeating God awful lessons until they are perfected or at least sink in some what. So I sit here thinking to myself, "how many times will I get it wrong until I learn already?" The answer..... No more. I don't like hurting others with stupid unthought out unkind words. The problem lately it seems, is that I've been running my mouth without fully thinking it through first. And that's wrong. How do I go from a quiet person that never voices an opinion to a diarhetic verbal assault vehical? Have I become so jaded by the people and circumstances around me that I forgot how to respect the feelings of those I may be hurting? Wow.... so yeah these are the questions that have been weighing on my mind this week.
It's the second time, this stupid lesson is rearing it's ugliness. Something must be learned from it & it needs to stop here. This blog will help remind me of that. As I look back over this past year searching for clues as to what changed in my life, asking when exactly did I start to slip backward away from the positive path I was on..... I don't think it was anything in particular but perhaps a mesh of things and people getting my goat over time that has led me back to a harsh and sarcastic front. Sure it feels GREAT to shield & protect my feelings behind sarcasm but over time, I've lost my way- strayed from the path. It just goes to show that personal development is a task done "everyday" and is never ending. I wont beat myself up over it, because humanity is not perfect. I make mistakes, and sometimes I make them more than once. But I refuse to make this mistake again. For now on, I will take extra care to think before I speak or post things that discriminate against others. I will try and get back to the kind loving person that I was becoming. It's time to make that effort, and hopefully make it stick.
Life's lessons certainly keep things interesting that's for sure.
Here's to a nicer tomorrow.
xox
It's the second time, this stupid lesson is rearing it's ugliness. Something must be learned from it & it needs to stop here. This blog will help remind me of that. As I look back over this past year searching for clues as to what changed in my life, asking when exactly did I start to slip backward away from the positive path I was on..... I don't think it was anything in particular but perhaps a mesh of things and people getting my goat over time that has led me back to a harsh and sarcastic front. Sure it feels GREAT to shield & protect my feelings behind sarcasm but over time, I've lost my way- strayed from the path. It just goes to show that personal development is a task done "everyday" and is never ending. I wont beat myself up over it, because humanity is not perfect. I make mistakes, and sometimes I make them more than once. But I refuse to make this mistake again. For now on, I will take extra care to think before I speak or post things that discriminate against others. I will try and get back to the kind loving person that I was becoming. It's time to make that effort, and hopefully make it stick.
Life's lessons certainly keep things interesting that's for sure.
Here's to a nicer tomorrow.
xox
Sunday, November 20, 2011
November Check In
Wow, time flies. Where did October go? I'll tell ya where it went, it went straight to hell! Christmas krept in even earlier this year than usual! I can't even get into the halloween spirit anymore- Thanks Santa. WTF! Anyway.... we "fell back an hour" and it's screwing everybody up around here. We're all fricken sleepy by 8pm anymore lol or is that just old age? I can't really tell.
November 1st 2011, my grandmom Dot left this hell hole for the bigger party in the sky. She waited for All Saint's Day to go marching along. I have to smile picturing her dancing and singing with her noise makers all the way up the stairway to heaven. I'm certain she was greeted by so many loved ones and friends that went before her. She out lived most of them at age 90. Grandma lived a full life, full of happy and funny memories. She was always telling a joke or story. When I look back over her life in my 35 years time, I have to smile. She was such a people person, something I am not. Many loved and were loved by her. Everyone in Port Richmond knew her as Grandma Dot. I'm glad I got to spend some time with her in the weeks prior to her passing, but seeing her in so much pain and discomfort made all of us feel helpless. God bless my Dad and Aunt Ginny who took such great care of her, and spent many nights a week visiting with her. You are saints!
And now, it's almost Thanksgiving all the planning is stressing me out a little. But our hearts have opened wide and full of forgiveness and healing. We invited family over this holiday to our home for appetizers, dinner and dessert. With much to be thankful for, we have Chris's Mom Betty back in our lives, as well as my sister Cheryl & her hubby Art & Jeremy who will be expecting a little girl in March. It was perfect timing how this all happened. After years of bitterness, Chris and I "both" had a moment of awareness without even talking about it. Was it the passing of grandma that opened our hearts? I'll never know, but it just feels right to have forgiveness and our family back together reguardless of things that happened in the past. Maybe blood really is thicker?
This year I am Thankful!!!! For everything and everyone!
Still going strong with my weight watchers diet. Lost 21.lbs holding steady but would still like to loose 20 or 25 more. I feel much better about myself and I'm able to wear clothing "not tents!" haha I think just being able to wear normal clothes has satisfied me for now that my losses each week have been minimal. I need to set my next goal to achieve the next smaller size in my closet. Just as soon as ThanksGiving passes I will hit the gym full force, and restrict my diet again. I need some significant results.
We started Christmas shopping early this year. Just had to, not by my choice! So needless to say, Christmas is finally creeping into my heart. The tunes and jingles are playing here at Casa de Wons :) and my lists for shopping are constantly being revised. I hope we can make it all happen in time for everybody. Chris has been working everyday!!! My Dad too!!! The guys are tired and falling apart without a day off in between. Thank goodness for the holiday this week- they will finally get a long weekend break. But they have to soak up the OT while they can if there's going to be a christmas this year. Thanks guys for all your hard work! Santa will bring you a stock of medicated ointments & potions for your aching bods. <3
November 1st 2011, my grandmom Dot left this hell hole for the bigger party in the sky. She waited for All Saint's Day to go marching along. I have to smile picturing her dancing and singing with her noise makers all the way up the stairway to heaven. I'm certain she was greeted by so many loved ones and friends that went before her. She out lived most of them at age 90. Grandma lived a full life, full of happy and funny memories. She was always telling a joke or story. When I look back over her life in my 35 years time, I have to smile. She was such a people person, something I am not. Many loved and were loved by her. Everyone in Port Richmond knew her as Grandma Dot. I'm glad I got to spend some time with her in the weeks prior to her passing, but seeing her in so much pain and discomfort made all of us feel helpless. God bless my Dad and Aunt Ginny who took such great care of her, and spent many nights a week visiting with her. You are saints!
And now, it's almost Thanksgiving all the planning is stressing me out a little. But our hearts have opened wide and full of forgiveness and healing. We invited family over this holiday to our home for appetizers, dinner and dessert. With much to be thankful for, we have Chris's Mom Betty back in our lives, as well as my sister Cheryl & her hubby Art & Jeremy who will be expecting a little girl in March. It was perfect timing how this all happened. After years of bitterness, Chris and I "both" had a moment of awareness without even talking about it. Was it the passing of grandma that opened our hearts? I'll never know, but it just feels right to have forgiveness and our family back together reguardless of things that happened in the past. Maybe blood really is thicker?
This year I am Thankful!!!! For everything and everyone!
Still going strong with my weight watchers diet. Lost 21.lbs holding steady but would still like to loose 20 or 25 more. I feel much better about myself and I'm able to wear clothing "not tents!" haha I think just being able to wear normal clothes has satisfied me for now that my losses each week have been minimal. I need to set my next goal to achieve the next smaller size in my closet. Just as soon as ThanksGiving passes I will hit the gym full force, and restrict my diet again. I need some significant results.
We started Christmas shopping early this year. Just had to, not by my choice! So needless to say, Christmas is finally creeping into my heart. The tunes and jingles are playing here at Casa de Wons :) and my lists for shopping are constantly being revised. I hope we can make it all happen in time for everybody. Chris has been working everyday!!! My Dad too!!! The guys are tired and falling apart without a day off in between. Thank goodness for the holiday this week- they will finally get a long weekend break. But they have to soak up the OT while they can if there's going to be a christmas this year. Thanks guys for all your hard work! Santa will bring you a stock of medicated ointments & potions for your aching bods. <3
Sunday, October 30, 2011
My Chinese Zodiac
THE FIRE DRAGON 1916 AND 1976The Fire Dragon is a powerful force to be reckoned with. This is a Dragon doubled! The Fire Dragon can move from calm and collected to combustible in a matter of seconds. In some ways the Fire Dragon is his or her own worst enemy. These Dragons cannot help feeling they are valuable and all-knowing. When they are right their vehemence and vigor is an asset to the cause, and though they value objectivity, they do not always employ the best decision-making measures, and sometimes jump to the wrong conclusion. They also suffer from recklessness and quick tempers. Yet, when they do keep their temper, emotions, and rivaling spirit under control, they emanate a commanding influence on other people.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Dream Journal
Bridge
To dream that you are crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one.
~my bridge dreams are always over water and I'm always on foot walking acrossed. In this one, there were strangers walking with me, and it was extremely windy and gray skies. There were cars in the water that didn't make it across. I did make it across however by foot. Destination- Deleware South bound?
To dream that you are crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one.
~my bridge dreams are always over water and I'm always on foot walking acrossed. In this one, there were strangers walking with me, and it was extremely windy and gray skies. There were cars in the water that didn't make it across. I did make it across however by foot. Destination- Deleware South bound?
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
A work in progress.
Happy October! It's the most wonderful time of the year...for me anyway. Crisp cool weather, the changing leaves, Autumn mums blooming everywhere, & creatures preparing their food supply for Winter. Today however, I'm sitting here feeling lost. I think I have everything I've ever wanted, a working husband, two healthy happy kids in school, the house quiet and to myself. Oh how I LOVE being alone during the day...I may even enjoy being alone in the evening as well. So I don't know what my problem is. Am I bored? I should probably focus and read a motivational book or concentrate on crafting. There are many things I "should" be doing but, all I wanna do is crawl up into the fetal position and watch Charmed on TNT. Charmed makes me miss my bff even more. Life is shitty with my bf being hundreds of miles away :(
I am making plans for the family to do some fun Fall activities this month. We have already gone apple picking. I've been doing the whole baking thing, and in a week or two we'll be going to the haunted hayride/ mansion at Sleepy Hallow. Fun stuff. I think what I really want and have been lacking is my intimate connection with nature around me. Somethings off, like I've been disconnected and I truly dislike it. My mind is in a fuzz :( maybe an effect of the prozac? Saddening. Whatever it is, I need to fix it fast. Otherwise, I'll just continue to feel this blah disconnectedness.
I want to take a quiet walk in the park or some place peaceful. I want to watch and observe the wild life going about their business. I want to capture that awesome photograph, that special moment! I want that quiet peacefulness in my life but to be able to accomplish something fulfilling at the same time. Something I can't do when other people are around me bossing me around, stressing me out. But I don't walk in the park alone because it's dangerous. Why do I have to be a tiny female? Maybe I need to take a self defense course so Im not feeling so vulnerable when alone. Maybe I need to work on me! work on finding ways for my own personal liberation. hmmm....
On another note, I'm staying the course healthwise and staying with my goal to lose the extra weight. Yay me! Still doing weight watchers and it's working! 18.lbs lost!!! so far and I feel great. I've put away all the tents I've been wearing. The clothes especially tops that I have, have been getting too big. Most of my tee's are falling off me, and I pulled out some smaller tops that I had put away. I lost 1 whole size in jeans which is a good start. My goal is to lose 2-3 more sizes. It's been a noticable difference :) You know, my weigh had been out of control and making me miserable for years, it feels really awesome to finally have control over it again. Weight Watchers works!!! And I owe it to my Mom for making me go! I remember that day I stepped on the scale only to see I had gained 5 more pounds putting me at my heaviest weight ever! My world felt crushed and hopeless and I called my mom in tears. She took my hand and drove with me to the weight watchers meeting and got me signed right up. I was doubtful. But after being shown how to eat better and better portion, the weight started coming off right away! 2-4lbs a week :) a little at a time. And it's staying off too! Yeah there are those weeks in between, when I only maintain the weight loss but no gain is good! And I'm on my way back to a healthier outlook on life and myself. No more beating myself up! No more putting myself down! I'm self loving baby!! Cause if I dont learn to love myself, how can I expect others to love me? Actually, if I love myself- screw everyone else. I don't need their love. And I'm certainly finished begging for acceptance and approval.
I'm working on me now. And right now it's time for a healthy protien rich breakfast and some yoga to follow. Have a great day everybody!
I am making plans for the family to do some fun Fall activities this month. We have already gone apple picking. I've been doing the whole baking thing, and in a week or two we'll be going to the haunted hayride/ mansion at Sleepy Hallow. Fun stuff. I think what I really want and have been lacking is my intimate connection with nature around me. Somethings off, like I've been disconnected and I truly dislike it. My mind is in a fuzz :( maybe an effect of the prozac? Saddening. Whatever it is, I need to fix it fast. Otherwise, I'll just continue to feel this blah disconnectedness.
I want to take a quiet walk in the park or some place peaceful. I want to watch and observe the wild life going about their business. I want to capture that awesome photograph, that special moment! I want that quiet peacefulness in my life but to be able to accomplish something fulfilling at the same time. Something I can't do when other people are around me bossing me around, stressing me out. But I don't walk in the park alone because it's dangerous. Why do I have to be a tiny female? Maybe I need to take a self defense course so Im not feeling so vulnerable when alone. Maybe I need to work on me! work on finding ways for my own personal liberation. hmmm....
On another note, I'm staying the course healthwise and staying with my goal to lose the extra weight. Yay me! Still doing weight watchers and it's working! 18.lbs lost!!! so far and I feel great. I've put away all the tents I've been wearing. The clothes especially tops that I have, have been getting too big. Most of my tee's are falling off me, and I pulled out some smaller tops that I had put away. I lost 1 whole size in jeans which is a good start. My goal is to lose 2-3 more sizes. It's been a noticable difference :) You know, my weigh had been out of control and making me miserable for years, it feels really awesome to finally have control over it again. Weight Watchers works!!! And I owe it to my Mom for making me go! I remember that day I stepped on the scale only to see I had gained 5 more pounds putting me at my heaviest weight ever! My world felt crushed and hopeless and I called my mom in tears. She took my hand and drove with me to the weight watchers meeting and got me signed right up. I was doubtful. But after being shown how to eat better and better portion, the weight started coming off right away! 2-4lbs a week :) a little at a time. And it's staying off too! Yeah there are those weeks in between, when I only maintain the weight loss but no gain is good! And I'm on my way back to a healthier outlook on life and myself. No more beating myself up! No more putting myself down! I'm self loving baby!! Cause if I dont learn to love myself, how can I expect others to love me? Actually, if I love myself- screw everyone else. I don't need their love. And I'm certainly finished begging for acceptance and approval.
I'm working on me now. And right now it's time for a healthy protien rich breakfast and some yoga to follow. Have a great day everybody!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Seasons Change: Catch Up.
We celebrated Dana's sweet 16 down the shore with my parents this year :) Dana was able to bring her bff Ivanna along to pal around with. She said it was the best birthday EVER :) We were so lucky with the weather and timing of the trip too. We had perfect weather from the day we got there to the very hour we left to come home. Sadly Hurricane Irene slammed all the shore points hard, and caused some major damage inland as well. We know many who were badly affected and our hearts go out to them. Again, we were very lucky and managed to keep our power, and sustained no damage. The weather has been insane, we even had a noteworthy earthquake of 5.9! and the aftershock of 5.5 the night after. And during Irene tornado warnings were flying left and right. This has been one crazy week! The last earthquake Philadelphia experienced was over 200 years ago. Fascinating. My family and I were on the beach when it hit and we barely noticed. But people and neighbors back home said they were woken up by the house shaking. Again, no damage to our home thankfully. We just had some things knocked over or curtains that had fallen down. Our 3 cats seemed freaked out, and continued to be skittish for a week or two after. But they are all better now :) "Friendly is playing tag with Dana."
As my favorite time of year comes, with it the kids are back to school and I am getting a sense of peace and tranquility back in my life. Oh I forgot to mention, my hubby has finally scored a full time position over at the new charter school. We are all very excited! It's been two years since his lay off from NorthEastern Hospital. We were worried that this oppertunity wasn't ever going to come. He likes it. The pay isn't wonderful but it's a step up in the right direction. We are grateful. So it's true, prayers are heard and sometimes answered :) God always seems to give us what we need to get by.
Chris's Mom also contacted us over the summer in late July. We hadn't had any contact in almost 7years after she moved away and there were some unsettled feelings. It's a good thing Chris found his spirituality and learned compassion and forgiveness because he has invited her back into our lives, and the kids are getting to know her. It's nice having Betty back. It's good and were making the most of our time together this time around, because ya never know when it might be taken away again.
So as you can see, we lot's of exciting news, and healing going on, and excitement for the future. :) I wanna just take a minute and send a shot out to God/Universe for having our backs. I'm happy that we were able to learn from the curve balls, the harder times, the trial and plain old CRAP thrown at us. We're definately stronger, and have clearer minds because of it.
I'm now the proud mother of a junior in highschool and a 2nd grader :) This year Jake only cried for the 1st week. By the 2nd week he's been acting like a big boy. He must like his new teacher because he has done something this week that shocked the hell out of me. He's NOT giving me trouble at homework time!!! He's reading alone!!! and doing math worksheets on his own!!! He even counted money correctly!!! You might be reading this and thinking yeah so what, but what you dont understand is how hard it was for us to get him to focus last year. Homework was always frustrating for Jake and myself because he just simply didn't want any part of it. But the tables have turned and he's making his mommy & daddy & big sissy proud! The best part, is that he's much calmer and happier. Being away at school makes him more lovable and helping when he comes home :) can you say WINNING!!!!????
So now here I am enjoying my alone time again. The husband is out of the home working, the kids are at school, and here I am alone quietly with only my thoughts. I'm loving it! I've craved this for so long! Seriously I'm so friggen happy I could shit. I wake in the mornings now with a sense of importance, getting Jake off to school, a power walk, maybe some yoga if Im feeling it, and whatever chores that need done, I can now do them willingly with peace of mind and at my own pace. I'm a happy 35 years young cat lady again. I find myself looking for things to do, so I started organizing and planning out the dinner menu for the upcoming two weeks. I'm working on clearing out the clutter again. Somehow things always tend to get messy and disorganized "thank you family." I have time for reading again even though it's a sure way to put me to sleep. Everytime! So naps are back :) Plenty of facebooking and soon again blogging. I haven't blogged much because my thoughts have been preoccupied. It's much easier to concentrate without a demanding child, or husband blaring the volume on the tv. The change is good! My mother even said I was glowing :)
To top everything off, I'm excited about my 12.lb weight loss with weight watchers. I see and feel a real difference. And I'm never going to stop! I'm setting my goal for the end of December so I can start the new year off with my new body :) and attitude! Wish me luck! Pin Up pictures are in my future ;))
Look Out World She's on her way BACK! For real this time.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Weight Watchers
With the help of WW, I am learning to portion my food, and what good foods I should be eating. They make it so easy with the points plus system. I find myself still able to enjoy the foods I like without feeling guilty. And each week I lose more weight. My"peace"of mind comes from going to the gym 5 days a week for an hour at a time. I simply get my heart pumping on the treadmill. At this time I feel good walking at a steady pace for 3 miles a day. Which is doing my tummy and waist line wonders. I can feel and see a difference, and I plan to maintain it. Yay me! If things go well, I'm thinking by December I should be in my weight goal range.
Thursday night weigh in.
1st week- 1.8 lbs lost (no exercise just portioning better)
2nd week- .6 lbs lost (50 minutes of exercise added)
3rd week- 4.0 lbs lost (10 extra minutes of exercise added = 1hr walk time) YEAH!!
4th week- 0.0 lbs (began a new med for clear skin)
5th week- 2.6 lbs lost
6th week- 1.4 lbs + (gained from vacation-not bad)
7th week- 3.6 lbs lost (added yoga)
8th week- 1 lbs lost (TOTAL so far 12.2 lbs lost)
9th week- 3 lbs lost
10th week- 1.6 lbs lost
11th week- 1.4 lbs lost
12th week- .06 lbs lost
13th week- 0
14th week- 1.6 lbs lost
15th week- .04 lbs lost
16th week- 1.4 lbs lost (TOTAL so far 20.6 lbs lost) Silver Bravo Star :) Yay!
Embracing Uncertainty
Surving over two years of uncertainty where the future and security of my loved ones are involved due to the failing economy has toyed with all of our emotions time & time again. Yesterday I felt it was time to visit the library and see what literature popped out for me to read. This book grabbed my attention. I'd seen it there before, I think it's been recommended through previous authors I've read. But this time, I think I needed to read it.
According to the first three chapters, life is much easier to tolerate when we live by a "MAYBE" kind of attitude. Taking nothing for granted, and letting go of the control for perfect outcomes. Maybe it will be a good day, maybe it wont. We often need to be right about everything too, when we should be listening to eachothers point of views instead. Agreeing to disagree is better than having to know it all all the time. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're right, maybe your wrong. We don't know the grand design of the universe and it's intentions. Science is based on a significant amount of guessing. So maybe there's a reason why this country is in crisis, maybe there's not. I'd like to think this country is coming to a new age, a realization that in order to survive we need to drastically change the way things are done in government. I like to think everything will work out in the end, but maybe it wont. Then what? I guess I'm learning that I have no control over the future. It will be whatever it will be. And only time will tell. We can only do the best we can in the mean time.
The "pinch" is greater now than it's ever been, and I hate seeing those I love carry such a big burden. We need a miracle....God, please....we need you.
Having no control over anything has been frustrating. But giving up control over everything can be liberating according to this book. So I'll let ya know how it turns out.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Promoting Self-Love.
So yesterday I sat with my new quartz and quietly ignited it's powerful energies. You may not be a believer in this sort of thing but I'm telling you it works, and it's exactly what I've been needing. I feel wonderful. I feel a new found love for myself, that I've lost some time ago. I now feel back in touch with who I truly am, and I'm reminded of the things I once loved & enjoyed. xoxox
Two weeks ago, I placed 3 small rose quartz crystals next to my bed hoping to provide a lil something needed that has been missing. I've noticed a slight change, but then this large rose quartz found it's home here a week later, and I'm noticing instant results. :) Does anyone know of a tea light candle that burns for 5 hours at a time? Cause I lit this candle placed it bedside and it burned all night long, only to extinguish itself the moment I left the room this morning.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
JUNE an entire Month dedicated to Gemini :)
May 31st- treated myself to a full body massage. Affordable, very good and in home! Didn't even have to leave my house. Had the house to myself, put on on soothing music and lit the candles and incense- Bang! I was good to go :) 1 hour of relaxation. pdailey77@yahoo.com for info.
June 1st- spent the evening at mom & dads enjoying a home cooked chicken parm & spaghetti dinner followed by stocks pound cake and our fave tv shows :) My ghost hunting kit arrived today too! And, my garden was in full bloom. Yay!
June 3rd- Downloaded all my music to the computer for instant access.
June 4th- Chris hosted a little birthday celebration Toga style for my 35th. Mom & Dad brought me the annual Stocks Bakery cake accompanied by Butter cake :)
June 5th- Treated ourselves to breakfast at the Liberty Diner.
June 6th- Lounged all day. Clipped myself some fresh flowers from my garden. Was recommended an old TV series called Legend of the Seeker- and love it!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Theraputic Rant
Ok I'm convinced that it must just be everyone else. Perhaps, I'm equally as cursed as other misunderstood emotional artists who uniquely express their feelings in a way that others just do not understand. I don't want to come off as prudent, I'm just different apparently. Since I'm not numbed up on anti-depressants anymore I'm forced to deal with the unplesantries of the people closest to me. Though I love them dearly, I'm equally as annoyed and upset with them for not "getting me or understanding me." When I'm upset, and you ask me what's bothering me, be prepared for the answer that follows.OR simply don't ask. Instead of being sympathetic as to why I feel the way I do, they tend to get angry and stand offish which only boils the water more. Now I'm left with the uneasy feeling and ideas that everyone else is just a bunch of fucking Assholes. Yes, with a capital "A."
As I'm writing this, it has occurred to me that "this must be my do over." The last time I felt this way was "pre-anti-deppressant" and on the verge of self destruction. Now again, I'm at a crossroad, repeat my past mistakes or choose to somehow accept and grow from my current circumstance. Where will it lead me this time? It's easier not to feel. But burrying my feelings way down beneath 4 years of chemical altering meds has left me over weight and unhappy but had given me a huge spiritual growth. Trust me, I really want a drink right now, with a handful of capsules. But the little voice inside my head is nudging me on the shoulder saying, come on, you can take the high road now. Be strong. Early in my marriage I was pretty sure of what I wanted and how to get it. But somewhere along the way I got tired of fighting for it. But I've let things go for so long now- could it be too late? I'm speaking on many levels here not just a particular subject or circumstance.
Today, right now I am accepting that this is my life and this is how it's always going to be unless I change it. I can not depend on others to change or to live up to my expectations. It is what it is. Am I outgrowing my relationships? No, perhaps my relationships were just falsely interpreted with too much hope for something else. What I am realising, is that I am alone. I am truly alone. I must depend on me to make me happy. Because as long as there is internet substiting for real personal relationships, I will be second best in the eyes of my husband. And I'm trying to accept this. I am tired of giving so much energy and emotion to trying to figure this out.
There are things to be done in the home, I am tired of asking repeatedly, tired of waiting. I've been patient. Perhaps it's becoming clear to me that my husband isn't as dependable as he once was to take care of his home and projects around the home as once before. Is it because he doesn't care? or is it he doesn't care about my feelings or happiness? I suppose this is how it's now going to be. And it's saddening. I could get angry and point out the fact that the man hasn't had a fulltime job in two years- so he cannot be tired from working long hours. Even is part time job doesn't require any physical labor. He was more productive around the house for christ sake when he was working! I was also more assertive then. It is Saturday today, it hasn't rained now for three days- so what is his excuse? Still, he sits watching TV and facebooking his days away. That's great.
On such a beautiful day, you'd think we'd be doing some outdoor family activity if not home improvements. Family time just isn't as important to some, as maybe it used to be. So we waste our lives away doing nothing. Internet is the devil. It sucks the life out of people, robbing them of what's truly important. After this blog, I'm going to give the internet a rest. I'm going to rely as little as possible on other people and do whatever it is I need for myself. I'm going to try and be the best mother I can be for my kids. The husband is a big boy and he seems to be doing just fine by himself. So be it... Be by yourself. I refuse to be alone any more. I will be my own best friend for now on. Enjoy your choices.
As I'm writing this, it has occurred to me that "this must be my do over." The last time I felt this way was "pre-anti-deppressant" and on the verge of self destruction. Now again, I'm at a crossroad, repeat my past mistakes or choose to somehow accept and grow from my current circumstance. Where will it lead me this time? It's easier not to feel. But burrying my feelings way down beneath 4 years of chemical altering meds has left me over weight and unhappy but had given me a huge spiritual growth. Trust me, I really want a drink right now, with a handful of capsules. But the little voice inside my head is nudging me on the shoulder saying, come on, you can take the high road now. Be strong. Early in my marriage I was pretty sure of what I wanted and how to get it. But somewhere along the way I got tired of fighting for it. But I've let things go for so long now- could it be too late? I'm speaking on many levels here not just a particular subject or circumstance.
Today, right now I am accepting that this is my life and this is how it's always going to be unless I change it. I can not depend on others to change or to live up to my expectations. It is what it is. Am I outgrowing my relationships? No, perhaps my relationships were just falsely interpreted with too much hope for something else. What I am realising, is that I am alone. I am truly alone. I must depend on me to make me happy. Because as long as there is internet substiting for real personal relationships, I will be second best in the eyes of my husband. And I'm trying to accept this. I am tired of giving so much energy and emotion to trying to figure this out.
There are things to be done in the home, I am tired of asking repeatedly, tired of waiting. I've been patient. Perhaps it's becoming clear to me that my husband isn't as dependable as he once was to take care of his home and projects around the home as once before. Is it because he doesn't care? or is it he doesn't care about my feelings or happiness? I suppose this is how it's now going to be. And it's saddening. I could get angry and point out the fact that the man hasn't had a fulltime job in two years- so he cannot be tired from working long hours. Even is part time job doesn't require any physical labor. He was more productive around the house for christ sake when he was working! I was also more assertive then. It is Saturday today, it hasn't rained now for three days- so what is his excuse? Still, he sits watching TV and facebooking his days away. That's great.
On such a beautiful day, you'd think we'd be doing some outdoor family activity if not home improvements. Family time just isn't as important to some, as maybe it used to be. So we waste our lives away doing nothing. Internet is the devil. It sucks the life out of people, robbing them of what's truly important. After this blog, I'm going to give the internet a rest. I'm going to rely as little as possible on other people and do whatever it is I need for myself. I'm going to try and be the best mother I can be for my kids. The husband is a big boy and he seems to be doing just fine by himself. So be it... Be by yourself. I refuse to be alone any more. I will be my own best friend for now on. Enjoy your choices.
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